i just want to remain uncounsious.. i don't wanna wake up.. i just wanna make myself drunk by drinking.. may be this does not help much but i don't wanna be hurt again.. nowsaday, examination marks are being announced..my marks for all subjects have eventually dropped.. i felt disappointed for myself.. i asked myself that where is me?? am i in the wonderland or?? in the past , i am proud to announce my marks to my parents.. but now?? not at all.. i felt that i am a coward.. "N" levels is coming yet i am slacking in my result.. i get lousy grades for all my subject now.. now i can't even be the top few students in class..even those people who never prepared for exam scored higher than me..i am really a loser, a sore loser.. ya i know it is jus a mid year exam.. but all exam grades to me is important... is really important.. i should bucked up on all my subjects during the holidays.. ya... i will not forcus on relationship now.. as it is getting complicated and complicated.. i gonna let everything settled!